By now my regular readers, all three of them, must have noticed a precipitous drop in both the quantity and quality of my output here. I certainly have and it bothers me, but there seems to be very little I can do about it for the moment. The ideas still flow on an almost daily basis, but I don’t even have time to log them in as shorthand notes to myself.
A few months ago my employer approached me about taking on a new roll in our (his) small but growing company. I say growing because we are, in spite of the fact that two months ago our labor force was cut in half so we could survive the lean winter months. In eighteen years in my industry, the last two winters are the only times I’ve ever seen any company in the business hold seasonal layoffs. Things are bad all over – and we are not immune.
Last week, when the bulk of my new responsibilities began to fall squarely onto my shoulders I was already spread pretty thin, working a territory that in normal economic times would be covered by two if not three technicians. Instead of coming home a little tired, now I’m coming in absolutely beat most nights, then spending another hour or two balancing the following day’s workloads on the computer. Add to that our switch from working four day weeks back to the five day schedule and I’ve also lost an entire day; the day I used to spend on my writing.
I know it sounds pretentious coming from a largely unknown writer, blogging in a dark little corner of cyberspace, but I started this with the aim of eventually creating enough material to one day compile and edit it into a book of some sort – if nothing more than to leave my descendants some record of who I was and what I was like. I’d give almost anything to be able to know more than just the names of my ancestors and when or where they lived.
Needless to say, less time and energy means less writing and fewer posts. It’s getting harder and harder for me to hold onto a coherent thought long enough for it to gel into even one short column per week, and I end up pushing aside many shorter bits I’d like to write just to produce one halfway decent essay each week.
Something’s got to give! I feel divided, scattered in too many directions to accomplish anything, and the perfectionist in me would rather do nothing than publish less than my very best work.
Life is strewn with up and downs, highs and lows, too much or not enough time. Every writer or thinker goes through periods of explosive creativity and others in which it’s difficult to put two cogent sentences together!
Go with the flow. If you don’t have the requisite time to write out your best stuff, write less often. I’m sure a time will come when you will have more time on your hands than you know what to do with. For now, other priorities take precedence.
Don’t sweat it. I’m sure the three of us will hang around waiting for your next gem.
Thanks!